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Riding this morning, I realized how much I loved cycling… An impromptu meeting the night before on WhatsApp to gather a group of about ten friends and a morning spent rewriting cycling history made me realize how passionate I was about all aspects of our sport. Am I at the point of being what one might call a Bikenerd?
By Jean-François Tatard – Photos: Frédéric Poirier, Flickr.com, Pixabay.com
“What interests me in cycling is the destiny of champions“, “Modern palmarès and anecdotes from the history of this sport“, “What interests me is the equipment“, “From Pidcock’s MAAP jersey to Bernal’s disc F12, I’m up to date on all the latest news“, “Nothing beats cycling from the Bugno era. If I could find Thierry Marie’s Maxisport again, I’m not even sure I wouldn’t leave it with 8 speeds“, “It’s a bit like Neil Stephens’ MFRAME, Oakley never did better“, “You can have whatever equipment you want, nothing beats training, I’m interested in anything that can optimize my potential“, “For me, it’s competition and training combined with performance that appeal to me most“, “I like nutrition and understanding the subtleties of sports dietetics“. And then there’s “The landscapes, the freedom, the meditative values that these beautiful rides offer us” or “It’s also, more simply, a good excuse to meet up with friends“. In short, sometimes, there’s a bit of all of that at the same time. To the point of having an unbounded passion for cycling, even a true cult. And the idea was thus whispered to me by a friend to call this individual the Bikenerd!
What is a Bikenerd?
Pronounce bike nerd! It’s English. In the realm of popular culture stereotypes, a nerd refers to a person who is both socially awkward and passionate about subjects related to science or various techniques and technologies. In French, this word doesn’t have an exact equivalent, but the closest one I found is: “polard” (a French slang term for a bookworm or grind). This term, from school slang, refers to a student who focuses all their activity on their studies alone without showing any curiosity elsewhere. And if I look on Wiki, the nerd appeared in the late 50s in the US. The term has become rather pejorative, unlike geek. Indeed, compared to a geek, a nerd is more asocial, and more polarized on their interests, to which they devote more time.
Bikenerd or Seersucker?
Okay, I admit it’s a bit overused. But at worst, call us Seersucker. The most common connotation of Seersucker is one that implies that a person as passionate as us is a bit annoying, not very attractive, that they can be very intelligent, but that they have chosen to focus on activities that ultimately interest very few people on a global scale. Naturally, imagine someone talking to you about the clarinet with as much passion as you have for cycling. You have to put yourself in other people’s shoes a bit, don’t you?
The Bikenerd‘s jargon
Bikenerds love to drop jargon or complex technical terms into their conversations. “58 saddle nose to center-to-center handlebar length is absolutely not in line with a 71 bottom bracket to saddle top height.” Or, “The echelons started so early at the beaches that we were dropped from the neutral zone,” “Incredible, at 450 watts on the 21 hairpins of Alpe d’Huez, that produced more than 15mmol/L of lactate in the last fifteen minutes.” But do you hear yourselves? No one understood you… Normal! These obscure terms or references are part of the package. You’re not a Bikenerd if most people understand you.
Who is he?
If you’re not a Bikenerd and you’re reading this article, beware of them; they’re not the image of a redneck with a Skoda bucket hat, because they are very often intelligent and well-educated. Expect Bikenerds to be high-level scientists or software programmers that IT departments will then have to manage. They can be engineers, inventors, or even geniuses who rarely see the light of day. My favorite Bikenerd is a lawyer, just to give you an idea. You might also find them behind the counter of the last existing video store looking for a VHS tape of Miguel Indurain’s last victory on the Tour. When you engage in conversation with a Bikenerd, you must be prepared to accept that their obsession is a truly very interesting thing. You may not fully understand why, but you just have to accept that it is so. I repeat, they are intelligent. They certainly know much more than you do. Don’t underestimate them. Bikenerds may not feel the need to defend their interests when they are under attack, because they don’t really care about the opinions of others. Moreover, some Bikenerds are convinced that their interests are “beneficial to humanity as a whole, even if humanity doesn’t know it yet.”
The marginality of the Nerd
Bikenerds, by their very nature, will never truly be part of the mainstream and will never truly be accepted by the rest of the world. All we can do is try to be a little more open-minded and a little more understanding with them. They may have characteristic traits of Asperger’s syndrome, which will soon no longer be in a specific category of the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, but will be integrated into the disorders caused by high-functioning autism. Okay, I’m going a bit far, I admit. But we’re not far off. Knowing this, if it suits you, you can spare yourself the constant suffering you feel trying to fit in without being able to. A better self-acceptance, as well as building on your obvious strengths, may be a better strategy for leading a rich and happy life with a passion that is truly worthwhile.
In conclusion
The true, the false, the ugly, the beautiful, the hard, the soft with a long neck, the big bushy, the little chubby, the tall wrinkled, the bald mountain… Everything, everything, everything, you know everything about cyclists! As Pierre Perret sang, if you know everything about cycling and cyclists, it’s possible that you are a Bikenerd. And if you also ride with a Johnny Mellow jersey, know all the postural measurements of the riders in the peloton, and don’t need Strava mapping to anticipate the elevation changes of the route with millimeter accuracy, there’s no doubt left. You too are a Bikenerd.
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