The Laws of Happiness and Stress Management

In this situation where the pandemic and lockdown context is anxiety-inducing for many, it’s important to acknowledge the disruptions linked to navigating blindly without being able to serenely plan for the rest of the year. So, the idea here is to check how to act on this stress and regain joy and serenity, both in the current period and in the “after” life.

By Jean-François Tatard – Photos: pexels.com, pixabay.com, pxhere.com / JF Tatard / DR

Sports consulting is a passion that doesn’t earn me a living. My real job is to support employee performance in a very solid American industry listed on NASDAQ and developing in the veterinary market. A few days ago, I led a conference aimed at helping everyone find new meaning and regain serenity despite the context. I would also like to share some tips and the results of a method that works. But before we start, what is stress?

What is stress?

Stress is actually a vital function. Its physiological and psychological mechanisms are there to put you in a better state… It’s there to help you face a dangerous or difficult situation. It helps you adapt as best as possible. It is essential for your survival. In fact, scientists speak more of an adaptation reaction.

Too low a level of stress would actually be detrimental. There was also a study conducted on rodents that I managed to find, which showed that if these small mammals were artificially inhibited by fear, they systematically sought to put themselves in danger. As if stress was actually indispensable. But what kind of energy is it then?

Good stress and bad stress

Good stress is what I call optimal stress. The kind that allows you to transcend yourself and achieve exceptional things. The kind that activates adrenaline and endorphins, as well as other hormones that consequently multiply your chances of success. Champions know it well. It’s what allows them to achieve things that are normally impossible. But it’s also important to distinguish its threats if you don’t take control of it.

There are two forms of stress that threaten. Toxic stress and chronic stress. Toxic stress to begin with: it becomes harmful if it is activated at too high a level, pushing your biological reactions to the extreme. In fact, it will exhaust you physically and mentally, gradually eroding your effectiveness. And then there’s chronic stress. It differs from acute stress. Let’s say that if it’s activated at a reasonable level, it will help you cope with a complex situation. But when you let it last, a problem will arise. It exposes your body to repeated secretion of stress hormones. Your stress response system is not designed to be activated like that permanently.

How to act?

I suggest, as I did during my conference, that you keep in mind a 6-step strategy that will allow you to lastingly reduce your stress in general.

• STEP 1

When you feel overwhelmed by the situation, you risk losing confidence. The problem is that this can impact your productivity and make you less effective. I suggest you recognize the warning signs of excessive stress: anxiety, irritability, fatigue, lack of concentration, withdrawal, loss of appetite or, conversely, bulimia, etc. You must also recognize the causes: fear of no longer being competitive, fear of gaining weight, fear of never achieving results again, fear of living without a goal, etc.

• STEP 2

Start by assessing the satisfaction of your own needs. When your needs are met, when you take care of them, you are stronger and more resilient to stress. If you feel good physically and emotionally, you will be better equipped to manage stress without being overwhelmed. Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you have to radically change your lifestyle. Very small things can already improve your mood, increase your energy, and make you feel like you’re in control of it all. Basically: one thing at a time, and the more healthy lifestyle choices you make, without constraints or clutter, the more you will experience a substantial reduction in your stress.

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• STEP 3

Emotions are contagious, and just as you will spread the stress that inhabits you, you will calm your nervous system by interacting with calm and balanced people. Your interlocutor doesn’t have to solve your problems; they just need to be good at listening to you. Nothing more! A good ear! You need to cultivate a strong support network to act as a buffer against the stress and pressure of results you are currently experiencing. The more alone and isolated you are, the more vulnerable you are to stress. Like a vegetable garden, a social network needs to be cultivated… You all have a phone, reconnect with these inspiring people!

• STEP 4

When stress starts to become debilitating, you can implement substantial changes. This will allow you to regain control of the situation. Your ability to maintain self-control in stressful situations will also be highly appreciated by others and will facilitate even more fulfilling relationships. And this involves optimizing time management. Thus, try to create a balanced schedule as best as possible. Take a moment to list your responsibilities and daily tasks during lockdown. Don’t overload yourself. Often, you underestimate the time an activity takes. So don’t try to fill the day to the maximum. If you notice that your days are overloaded, sort between necessary tasks and desired tasks. And put unnecessary tasks at the bottom of the list or eliminate them! Make a list of the tasks you have to do and sort them by order of importance. Do the most important ones first. If you have to do something particularly unpleasant, do it first. This way you will be free, and the rest of the day will be filled with more pleasant tasks. If a project seems insurmountable, divide it into sub-steps! Focus on one step at a time. Above all, don’t do everything at once. Delegate certain responsibilities. You don’t have to do everything yourself. If another person can take on the task, why not let them? Let go of the desire to control or master everything. By doing this, you will relieve yourself of unnecessary stress. Make compromises! Sometimes, a little flexibility helps create a more relaxed atmosphere and reduces the stress level for everyone.

• STEP 5

Even when pressure or fear increases, you can maintain control and a certain self-confidence by understanding and cultivating emotional intelligence and skillfully managing emotions constructively. You will precisely find this emotional intelligence in the ability to communicate with others in a way that reduces differences between people, rallies people to your cause, takes care of others’ feelings, and reduces stress and tension in your relationships with people. Among all the skills to which your emotional intelligence is connected, we can identify 5 that are particularly interesting:

1. Become aware of your stress. For example: take note of your habits and ways of functioning.

2. Stay connected to your experiences and communicate authentically with who you are and what you have.

3. Use body language: learn to better decipher the workings of paraverbal communication.

4. Resolve conflicts in a healthy and constructive way. Don’t let bad grudges settle in.

5. Develop your ability to face challenges with humor and as if it were a game. Life is a game. Stop taking ourselves so seriously!

• STEP 6

Many of you worsen stress by cultivating thoughts and behaviors that don’t help you. You need to change these bad habits. In the same way, resist the allure of perfectionism. No project, no situation, no decision can be perfect. Trying to achieve perfection generates superfluous stress. When you set unrealistic goals or try to do too much, you put yourself in a position to fail. Just try to do your best; no one will ask you to do more. Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things are beyond your control, especially the behavior of others. Rather than stressing unnecessarily about it, focus on what you can control.

To conclude

Now that you know how to use your emotions even better, I offer you a moment of introspection. To use this period of imposed confinement to offer yourself this unique opportunity in your life to reflect on the meaning of your values. To develop a new art of living that will allow you to always find how to evolve with happiness… To never again let yourself be overcome by stress. To let your mind guide you towards what you truly want to do with your life. To express your joy of living and definitively gain your freedom to orient yourself in the only direction you have always wanted deep down.

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